im drinking this country out of the recession.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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