well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
