if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
