Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
