Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize