I just found puke in my bra..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
