we have pet lesbian snakes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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