I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
