$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's like heaven, but drunker
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
