did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
