I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
