He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
