I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize