I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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