I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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