woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
