I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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