Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
