If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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