so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
