Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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