That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
