I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
