dude i'm inner monologue high
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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