girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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