I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
