Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
