I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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