The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
