This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
