I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
