the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
