I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
