So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
