i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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