I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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