Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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