so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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