The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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