Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
