theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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