Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize