Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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