Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
