I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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