I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am one with the molecules
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize