she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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