And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
