someone get that fucking seahorse.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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