I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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