He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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