OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
