So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
