My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
that is very illegal...i love you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
