I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize