There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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