i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
