Duck Duck Cougar?
I love having hate sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We were destined to go to rehab together
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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